Author and Publisher. I work in academic publishing. I live in London and am currently writing my second novel. I can be contacted at @gurdeepmattu and and would especially like to hear from literary agents interested in representing my work.

Walkers Bugles

I tried these at lunch the other day, for the first time.  They are interesting – a mild cheese flavoured corn based snack.

Their ‘fun’ shape allows for good scooping of salsa or some other dip or condiment.  The fact they are corn and not potato based makes me wonder if they still count as ‘crisps.  Walkers Crisps is the full name of the company so perhaps they should clear this up.  This is crunch, as opposed to crisp.

Here is a close up of the ‘fun shape’:

As you see, they look a bit like wizard hats rather than bugles and there is no opening to blow through as you would expect from a bugle.

I would say a 6 out of 10.

Review of 2016

Not great, all round


Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got
I’m still Gurdeep from the block
Used to have one pebble now I got a lot
But I still know where they came from

(Answer: The Earth)

The gravel four(e)court

The sadness of a Jeep with a flat tyre on the fourcourt, gravel-bound, peeling signs, what do you want from us?


I think of the air in the gents, humid with water from the hand dryers, acid with the uric tang of piss. The subtler notes of rotting shit.

Wo heimat zu?

Airport Stress Dream

I had the airport stress dream again. It’s like a recurring dream. I can’t get to the airport, via any form of transport, no matter how hard I try. I miss my plane – usually one that would be taking me to a conference. This time : a car smash, lost hours, a late, never-arriving District Line, a trip home, a refusal on my part to ask for a lift. I feel dreadful this morning.


I’ve been on conference, in Sardinia. In the port town of Cagliari, to be more precise. There are other guides available, and to be honest you’re probably better off consulting D.H. Lawrence’s “Sea and Sardinia”. In any case, some impressions.

It is hard to get things done in Italy, and in Sardinia this is no exception. Things get done in their own style and manner and if the results are not consistent, so be it.

There is a certain island monoculture (which has made me view the parts of England not big cities, that is, everything except London, Brum, Manchester, maybe Leeds, in a new light. So I have learned something, perhaps? What a rare occurrence! What I am learning is that the referendum result was decades in the making and that it is much, much bigger than Johnson and Farage and their ilk.

Port towns tend to be a bit dirty, scruffy. Cagliari is no exception. I saw plenty of antifa graffiti, only one swastika.

Cagliari is naturally stunning – I mean, really jaw-dropping.

It gets hot – real hot – in the summer.

What Never Happens in Sci-Fi

But should.

“Phasers to stun!”

“I’m… I’m- outta battery! ”

“Shit I forgot to recharge these bastards”

(all crew die)

Theresa May, or she may not

We are moving into a post-politics era where the comings and goings move faster than the news. “News is the new addiction” wrote DeLillo and as ever he predicted twitter refresh and live feeds on the online newspapers. And as Brexit moves across the horizon like the Death Star, here is its reluctant champion, an anti-woman woman, a middle Englander who might as well be called Cambridgeshire, and still we pant on all fours to Sup at the dog bowl of News.


I scorned him
I am him